I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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