What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
