Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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