At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
