My brain says no but my pants say off.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
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