Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
