the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
