Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
