Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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