NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
this boner is exhausting
the day after is always just damage control
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
