Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
