This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
