You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
