I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
