just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
