And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
