Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
