is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
