so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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