If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
