His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
