i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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