i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Randomize
