If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize