Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
