GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
