Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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