HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
