You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
