just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
