I'm gonna have a badass scar
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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