This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
