I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
