so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
