i jhust puked up my retainher.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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