Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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