I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize