Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
