I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
