I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
