i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
