If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dicks are not precious.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
