why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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