just tell him i said nine months
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize