I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
