I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
