WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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