and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
