My sheets look like a crime scene.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
