Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
