guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
