yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
