Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
