if you like me you must not know who I am
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
