Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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