I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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