I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
