we have officially lost it.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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