I'm really into asian looking animals
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
