i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
