There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I will pee on everything he values.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
