New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
