they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
